26th - Pauline's Day

Dear Pauline,

I have truly come to love you.  I hurt for you.  I hurt for the normalcy in your life you never had. You had an absentee father who set horrible examples for you.  You had a mother, may she rest in peace, who never found love but sought it so eagerly having 4 children with 3 different men.  Your life was filled with stepfathers and mom's boyfriends until the day she died in the middle of the night.  You do not have a full biological sibling but many half siblings.  I wanted to badly for our family to be the family you never had.  I wanted to give you the example of a Godly wife and mother.  Unfortunately, I failed you.  I'm sorry.

When you first entered my son's life I was judgmental and felt you were not good enough for him.  I was not happy.  I was scared.  You did not share our faith which is very important to us.  I put up walls and barriers.   I blamed you for my son's fall into sin.  I blamed you for the man he had become. You listened to the words of the alienator and believed his lies because I made it too easy.  I gave you plenty of reasons to believe his words.  Again, I'm sorry.

And then you had my sweet grand daughter, Dawn.  I was kept from seeing her for the first 2 years of her life except for the occasional visit on Christmas or some other occasion.  But now.....that little girl is a joy in my life.  I love being with her.  She reminds me of her daddy.  She reminds me of me. And now you have blessed me with sweet Bella.  I'm now a part of their lives and I thank you so much!  I want to be close to you too.  I'm proud of the mother and wife you have become.  I get upset when I hear my son talk to you disrespectfully.  You are a sweet and caring person and deserve to be treated with kindness.  I love you.  I pray for you today and always.